Free time is not always a good thing

I love having free time. I have a lot of things that I enjoy doing, and there are times when even if I'm out having fun I'm kinda missing the things I like to do at home. I'm happy with who I am and with the way my life is right now. Most of the time. Now that things have calmed down a bit at work, I'm spending more time at home and doing the things I like to do, and especially more time with Tybalt which I know he loves. But there are times, not even long times, when I really want more. I want to be blissful, not content. I want to be happy with someone, not happy by myself. I want the apartment to be spotless. In short, I want to live in a fantasy.
Forget the fact that if I got into something serious my life would probably change completely. I would feel bad if I had to work late and so I'd be annoyed at work. I would get to cook meals more (which I love) but that would create more dishes and more trash (which I despise). None of that factors in to the fairy tales. But sometimes I want the romance so much I'm willing to see it in someone I know from experience could never really make me happy, much less be my prince charming. It can be so confusing when your emotions overpower your mind, even after your mind works back through to logic, because the emotions are still there somewhere.

New years

Why do people believe that a new year will bring anything different to your life? Looking over the past year and acknowledging your mistakes makes sense, but hoping and praying that an new number on the calendar will make your problems go away is rediculous. The date changes nothing. You have to make those changes, or discover why you can't get your life the way you want it. I'm not saying if you do enough you can have everything you want, but it is possible to make yourself happy, just be spending some time figuring out what you can do differently. Too many people leave their lives to chance, or blame their problems on the rest of the world. Unavoidable bad things do happen, but people do make the best of it and find ways to be happy, all on their own. Why whine about the new year when you can start making your life better today.

On a semi related note, I always hate it when someone asks if you feel any different on your birthday. You are only one day older then you were the day before, so how should you feel?

How did this turn into a 14 hour day?

I feel bad leaving Tybalt home all day alone, but of course I never thought today would be so long. I left the house at 5:30, to be at work at 6, planning to leave at 1. But it didn't work that way. At 1 I was so involved with making sure my employees knew what needed to be done that i didn't even realize it was 1 til 2:30.
Unfortunately one of my new responsibilities is making the schedule, which i wanted to get up as early as possible because of the holiday next week. Of course at that time, I realized I had made a major mistake on last weeks schedule and sent all but 2 employees home at the same time. I had a 2 hour blind spot apparently. So I had to stay on standby, while trying to make sure i didn't make the same mistake. By 4 I was finished with the schedule, sent it to the district manager for his approval, and started finishing up my paperwork to go home. "Xandri, call on line one." Great. It's my district manager, telling me my schedule doesn't pass muster, and i have to redo it. Another hour and i'm rushing out the door, trying to ignore customers, and deciding not to turn back for my jacket i just realized i left hanging on the office door. It's 5pm and I'm trying to get out of downtown.
So is the rest of the county. So it's 6 and I'm close to home, but I already know I have to stop off at the old store for a quick merchandise transfer.
When I get inside, the manager is right up front, excellent! ... helping a customer who needs a refund and a coupon and 2 other discounts she forgot to mention to the clerk that tried to help her the first time and she needs it fixed right now, and the employees in the back are calling her to ask questions and the specialist who was supposed to come in and had an appointment with a customer 20 minutes ago wasn't there yet and the lady on the right wants help putting a 12 foot christmas tree into the backseat of her sedan... ... ... ... So I helped the lady with the tree and I called the specialist, and then showed the other manager how to process the merchandise I was taking for my store. I didn't get home til 7:30.
If I was getting paid salary at some outrageous sum, this would me no big deal. I don't have kids or anyone waiting for me at home. But I work retail and get paid only for the hours I spend at the store... my store... and nothing else. I do know what i'm getting into, but that only helps when i have the time to stop and remember that.

I finally work for a living

Firs off he's a dog. And no, I'm not an obsessed with my pet kind of person, but he's the most steady thing in my life and it makes for a good title. Right now.... scratch that... Constantly my life is in a state of upheaval, but from what I gather so is everyone's. Most recently though I started a new job, a promotion really, and it's been a tough but not impossible challenge. I'm the 2nd highest manager at a retail chain, and through other changes there is no current store manager. I'm doing the work of 2 people (I'm not bragging, really) and my support managers unfortunately are about 5 years behind current policy and procedures. So there's another full time job in getting everyone there up to date and up to muster, with the constant looming threat of an Official visit or even worse, an audit. I get 65 year old women smiling at me and saying "oh of course, I'll do better next time" and then muttering under their breath as they walk away about how they've Always done it and who am i anyway? I can deal with that too. I know that in my 5 years with the company I've had as many different managers come in and do everything different from the last guy, and then leave without anyone looking up or shedding a tear when they're gone. I gotta go the cliche route and say "well I'm gonna do things differently! I'm gonna get things done!" I guess that has yet to be seen.